After some deliberation (philosophising is a rare pleasure these days...), I decided that my newly lukewarm attitude to blogging was not, as previously gathered, a result of a lack of inspiration. Not that my life is ragingly interesting, but there is plenty to be grateful for (and a cute baby to photograph).
Nope, it's pure, beige-coloured apathy. I started getting a niggling feeling that posting little segments of my life for public viewing was, well, a wee bit wanky. I felt like maybe I needed more coherence, or a little gimmick, or one of those weekly segments that I enjoy on other blogs (give me segmented anything. Terry's Chocolate Oranges rock my world), to validate any further broadcasts from my neck of the woods. I made the unfortunate discovery that life in the Land of Blog can sometimes get nasty - this one in particular was a bit of a slap in the face - not to mention I was starting to question whether or not I was entirely comfortable having photos of lil' Baboushka floating around on the interweb (other skittish parents not helping).
All of this made me want to pull the covers over my head and put my blog to rest. I thought about going cold-turkey and quitting blogland for good. The computer lay dark and dusty for weeks. (That is a total lie - I verge into OCD territory with my regular Googling of the weather forecast.) But I didn't want to give up reading the wonderful stuff out there that I've so enjoyed over the year.
So I've decided to just dive back in, Acapulco-style, and not give it so much thought in future. To be honest, I don't really give a flip what anyone thinks of my blog. I started it for myself, as a light-hearted, amateur, not-particularly in-depth journalistic exercise in posterity. No reason to change it, really...I'll just try to keep posting as regularly as my almost-mobile offspring allows ;-)
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10 comments:
I am happy to see you blogging again - I find mummy blogs interesting and I am not a mother! Most of the mothers I see blogging blog about a variety of things.
Frankly, I think that Rachel Cooke's article is emblematic of women who equate being a feminist as being superior and judging women who have chosen to tread a more traditional path. Feminism was and is about choice - so why are 'traditional' women judged for making theirs?
The fact that she has no sympathy for how hard motherhood is and the impact is has on one in terms of conversation and concentration demonstrates what a self centred woman she obviously is.
Hi Iris! I totally understand your conundrum! I am glad to hear you have resolved it though : )
I too sometimes struggle with worries of how my blog may be perceived. Ultimately though, my blog is an outlet for me. My favourite post of the week (the climate news) barely ever gets any comments and so I assume it is everyone's else's least favourite, but I don't care! Not that I don't luuuurve comments. And if I didn't want anyone to read it and enjoy it I would just write in a journal. Hopefully having a readership is an important motivation, but ultimately it's all about personal development for me. And I'm sure every blogger has an equally important personal reason for blogging and try to remember that every time I read a post now that I understand what it's like to blog!
I think that Rachel Cooke is confusing people who are boring, self-centred and brand-conscious (to name just a few of her gripes) with people who are all this - but have become mothers as well. Parenthood doesn't change the fabric of a person; that will out. It may adversely or positively affect an individual, either momentarily or for a lifetime. Who hasn't raved about their offspring inappropriately to someone, before waking up to the fact that the person they are talking to may not care? So what? She probably shouldn't gripe too long on the subject or she'll be mistaken for all those things she fears!
I think you have a great blog. I look forward to reading about your gorgeous baby and regular daily life. Keep on going!
I get what you mean. I have moments when I could walk away... and feel comfortable. Happy perhaps.
It started off me just wanting to journal... and then I realised that people were reading it. And it scared me.
I was only thinking last night that my blog is so self indulgent... who really gives a shit about my life?
Anyways... just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and I'm SUPER glad that you're hanging around. xx
I got about 3 lines into Rachel Cooke's blog/article, and left. Hoighty-toighty, judgemental people (especially women who judge other women on their life choices) give me the irrits.
Like you, I started my blog for myself, I couldn't give a rat's what anyone else thinks, assuming anyone else reads it.
I love your blog.
Hey Iris
Glad to hear that you have decided to keep blogging. I know what you mean about all of the doubts etc, but I think that you were right to move past them. If people don't care about your life then they don't have to read your blog. You aren't pushing it on anyone and so there is nothing self-indulgent about it.
Having an outlet for your reflections and the opportunity to gather a community around you that relates to those reflections is a worthwhile thing. At least that is what I have found with blogging. It does take a while to find your groove (or to realise that you will never really have one - as I have done). For some of us, our interests are too disparate for a theme to work. It just feels too constraining, and I think that is fine.
As for the kids on the internet thing, well every now and then it also gives me pause. However, I think that people are totally over reacting. I am far more concerned about what happens to my daughter's person, not to some digital version of her. Plus there are just so very many images of people on the net these days, that it is almost silly to think that there is something particularly special about ours...
Anyway, lovely to see you back.
Oh yeah and as for Rachel Cooke. Well I have already written down (somewhere?) what I think of her and it wasn't particularly positive.
When you fall in love with a new guy you naturally expect to gush to your friends about how wonderful he is and how good it feels to be with him, etc. What's more, no friend would expect to catch up with someone in a new relationship and not to ask about (and talk about) that new relationship.
When you give birth to a new amazing little life, you fall head over heels in love with this incredible new person that has just completely changed your world. What kind of friend would expect you not to talk about this? No friend worth having, if you ask me.
As for the brand obsessions, failure to respect the interest levels of complete strangers, etc... As someone else said - that has absolutely nothing to do with parenthood.
@Hannah: oh good, it's nice to know that the world isn't divided into mothers who enjoy 'mummy-blogs' and the rest of the world who do not enjoy them! And you're exactly right - feminism, at least the way I see it, has evolved to the point where women have the freedom to choose to live as they want, however that may be :-)
@Eco-Chic-Mummy: I like your favourite posts, it's good to have a place to go for climate news in a nutshell!
@figtree kush: too right - self-centred people were most likely that way pre-children. The occasional rant about poo/vomit/cute baby noises is generally forgivable!
@K.Line: thanks, K - I will :-D
@Chantelle: that niggling feeling of self-indulgence sucks, but the feeling of walking away happily is the strangest - in the end, I figure I wouldn't just up and leave my friends, so I'll do my best not to on here :-)
@Rosie: I almost stopped reading, but I'm quite the masochist. Not giving a rat's seems to be the best way to approach blogging!
@cristy: wow, thank you for all of that! It's like you took my thoughts and made them sound lovely and eloquent. I feel much more comfortable with my groove-less blog :-)
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